Secrets To An Everlasting Inter-Marriage

Marriage is a part and parcel of everyone’s lives. Some people may love it, but some may hate it. And some… may even put themselves to a test when it comes to marriage. These are the group of people who would plunge themselves into inter-marriage.

Inter-marriage is a kind of marriage brought to a whole new level. Some may survive that level, but others may fall. An inter-marriage is established by two distinctive people with two distinctive kinds of lives.

They can be divergent in terms of race, culture, religion, family background and other things that make up their overall lifestyles.

In inter-marriage, the bar is being raised, and the challenge gets even bigger. Couples who are involved in inter-marriage do have the tendency to believe that they can pull through the marriage as long as they love and devote to each other.

But when it comes to love between two different people, there is more than meets the eye.

Ever wondered how some inter-married couples can further strengthen their bond and hold on close to each other, despite their inborn differences?

This is how it should work...

1. They would make time to learn and understand each other’s lifestyles by talking it out.

2. They would introduce each other to their families, so that they will get to experience first-hand how it is like living and communicating with their families.

3. They would give themselves some time to get used to each other’s life backgrounds. They do not feel the urgency to immerse into the marriage world, and will do so when they have completely adjusted to their lifestyle differences.

4. They would give and take. In marriage, it takes two hands to clap. This is all the more so in inter-marriages, where there should be a two-way communication between each other.

5. They would possess great belief in their marriage, even though they were brought up differently. They would cast aside their differences and set their minds to think that they are both human beings who have love for each other and that they are equal in each other’s eyes and hearts.

6. They would NEVER show signs of discrimination towards each other. They would open their hearts to be receptive of each other for who they are rather than what they are.

These attributes are the keys to a fulfilling inter-marriage. So to all the inter-married couples out there, never give up hope in upholding what you both shared.

Being an inter-married couple that can stick to each other against all odds is something respectable. Most of all, it is a major sign of true love between two totally different people.

Where there is a will, there is a way....




36 comments:

Mariuca said...

NAFA always writes meaningful articles, love the pic of the roses - sweet!

Mariuca said...

Yeeha! First commenter too, what do I get? ;)

joezul said...

I believe for all marriage to work and last, the most important ingredients is passion.
Without passion, what you'll get is just a partnership glued together for various reason, may it be money , property, children... workable, but lifeless.
Another great article guys. :)

joezul said...

errr..is it just me.. but I do seems to have trouble getting to the other pages on your blog. Do anybody else having the same prob ???

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hello Marzie...

Hooray! Marzie is the first commenter. For that u shall get a bouquet of roses! One from every member of NAFA. =)

Hi Joezul...

Great to know u like the article. This article should be one of the meaningful ones for u coz u are a married man.

Hmm...u had problems entering our other pages? But we had tested already. So far so good. But perhaps the problem occurred because we were in the midst of amending the blog while u tried entering our blog. so it should be ok now ya? =)

Rolando said...

Again, good tips NAFA! I've been involved in several inter-relationships in my past and am in an inter-marriage now.

In my experience, it doesn't matter what their background is or religious belief.

If you love each other, nothing else matters. Nothing. Not the color of the skin, who they pray for, or what their accent sounds like.

Love is universal.

You do, however, have to learn about the other person's background, if you don't already know about where they are from and of course you have to know about their culture, if there are certain practices that are important, e.g. respecting elders, allowing for prayer time, etc.

I guess it is this last part as you say that there is more than meets the eye.

I say, it really depends on the person and how close they are tied in to their culture.

The people I have been with where more 'Americanized' like me. So the transition was easier. Others had close relationships with their family and their traditions so of course I had to learn, practice, and to some degree assimilate.

But that goes both ways. We have/had respect for each others differences/cultures, etc.

So long as both communicate those differences and the importance of them, they should be fine.

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Well said Rolando!

This is definitely a good read for u because u are involved in an inter-marriage yourself. And we can see that u and your wife are really happy together!

U are without a doubt very conversant in this, and though we wrote this article, we still think that we should learn more abt this topic from those who have experienced inter-marriages and even inter-relationships, like u. =)

Rolando said...

Thanks NAFA! They are great tips as usual. I'm sure people will have different experiences that I look forward in reading about.

WaterLearner said...

Hi Nafa!

A good one .. Inter-Marriage! I guess mine is considered one huh? I am a Singaporean and my husband is a Burmese!

Blessings & Thanks!

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Yeah! Well hope that more people will pour in their comments here and share their experiences that u and I can read about and learn from. =)

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hi Karen!

Oh your husband is a Burmese? Interesting! If u want, u can share with us briefly on how your marriage with him survives till this day. It would be a good read and something to learn from! =)

vampynyam said...

HI...i already link you in my site and even put your logo to show my support to you. Run through your website and it';s kinda cool and would like to be link to you too. Cheers mate...

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

@Rolando - Thanks pal, i appreciate it..wish you have a great week. Cheers!

@ Vampynyam - Thank you so much for your kind support. Appreciate it. hope to see you around soon..=)

Mariuca said...

YAY!! I love roses, thanks NAFA! Er, what color roses la?

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Marzie,

Choose the color..white, red, blue, a good friend like you is too good to be true =)

Apple said...

Thanks NAFA, this is a great article. I'm in an inter-relationship, might help in the future.

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Glad the article was helpful for you, apple. Thank you. Have a great week ahead. =)

JesseTheCat said...

Love the article, Angels...I have something Shiny for you on my blog at http://jesseblogs.blogspot.com :)

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hey Jesse...

Wow something shiny? Ok coming over! =)

Mariuca said...

Oh so sweet, I want red, white and pink k! And maybe blue if u can find some ;) Selamat berbuka puasa NAFA!

thiamhin said...

nice post..
i really love it...

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

@Mariuca - Woah..means that you want all colors, sure no probz..Same to u Marzie =)

@ Thiamhin - Thanks, glad you love the post...have a great week ahead...

joezul said...

Hmm... yes, I can access the pages now.. Guess it was just my internet conn. concking out that time.. Sorry guys... my fault :oops:

JaMiLLa said...

Thanks NAFA for leaving msg in my blog and email me.

Feel appreciate that you bring this topic for sharing in blogosphere.

After reading all the comment here, I was thinking whether religion is a matter in relationship.

As rolando mentioned, if u really love each other so much, nothing else matter at all. I agreed.

I experienced it before. I told myself that if i still love him, i will stay on with him unofficially without changing my life, culture, race and religion. I can be with him but just dont instruct and hope that i can change. It's a tough conversion.

Because I cant lie to myself that, ok i love him, i need to sacrifice myself for the conversion. That's will make me unhappy at all.

So it's a good timing that the love had faded away. It shows myself that I did not really love him as a whole but maybe i jus attracted by his caring and sweetness. I did not accept who he really is.

Of course, one would be suffered for the pain individually. There is no fair value in relationship It's very common thing.

But then would you dare to hurt ur beloved one by the word of mouth (saying untruth) although he/she leave you for the love faded away?

I also been through this situation few times that they leave me bcos of that. At first I will think that they are playing me. As time goes by, I throw this thought away bcos I have to believe that the one I love is not this type of person. I have to trust who I love. In return, I have to believe myself bcos I'm the one who decide to love them. Couldn't be I got this bad taste?

So, I wont say anything bad if they leave me although I felt so hurt before. But I respect them. If that decision that they made will bring them happiness, I let them go and give them a blessing. Bcos this is the way to love. U cant act like you onli love them, when they love u in return. What if they don't love u anymore, U really have to hate them?

Love is unconditionnal. If they say NO to you, u have to accept that. This is what we call "Accept who he really is."

Thanks NAFA for opening a door for me to say something here. I feel better and happy after receiving good buddies email.

I jus havent got the feeling to reply u all but I will do it soon when the feel comes.

Thanks, Janice, Jean, Marzie for the reply. Love ya all!

P|S: Jamilla need to prepare the study for recent test and practise the dance for line dancing competition end of this mth!

JaMiLLa said...

OOppss I forget someone!! Thanks to KAREN too....Sorry dear, havent reply u yet. Make u all worried. Im fine here. I will reply u all soon! Sorry!

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hi Joezul...

It's ok. At least now all the pages can be viewed already. That's all that matters! =)

Hi Jamilla...

Thanks for taking time to drop by despite your busy schedule. Glad that u like this article. And we can see how conversant u are in this issue, based on what u had experienced in your past relationship.

Jamilla, u are still young. Concentrate more on your studies first ok? Then u can think abt what u wish to do with your love life. =)

Anyway no prob abt our reply. We are always here for u yeah? All the best in your studies and in your line dancing competition! =)

JesseTheCat said...

Hi sweeties, wow , what an honour...to be featured as blogger of the week! I can hardly believe it...and how awesome that I share that space with my new friend Rolando and his beautiful wife ! I am on cloud nine...well, you guys know how to make me so Happy! :)

joezul said...

yea... way to go Jessie. Congratulation!!
NAFA...You guys rocks!!

Rolando said...

Sorry to be off topic as well, but we wanted to say 'thank you' to the NAFA team for the recognition. You guys rock!

Now, going back on topic, religion could play a part in a inter-marriage. It hasn't for us, but I know a couple who did have troubles at first with it.

After they separated, which was the hardest thing. The struggle was so great. The man left the woman because he loved God more.

By her own will she eventually converted and they are happy ever after now.

If I was in the same shoes, it would definitely be a hard decision.

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

@jessie - Its our pleasure to feature you dear jessie...and we are glad that it makes your day..hope you have a great weekend ahead.. =)

@joezul - Thanks for the support joe..U rock too!! =)


@rolando - Dont mention it Rolando.. You deserve the recognition afterall.. yes, i agree with you..religion is the main issue with regards to intermarriage. One has to make the right decision, the right move...Anyway, thanks for sharing the story rolando..lets hope that the couple found their true meaning of happiness..=)

Rolando said...

I believe they have found their happiness in each other and in their ONE God.

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Agreed! Glad to hear that they are happy now. =)

WaterLearner said...

Jamy is sooooo sweet!!

Wish her all the best for the test! A reply to Nafa ... as of today, I am officially two-months married. Am I qualified to write about experience for a successful Inter-Marriage?

Happy Friday to all ... Nafa, Jan, Jean, Marzie, Jamy, Bobby, Joezul, Jesse ... Yippeeeee!

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hi Karen...

Hehe! U are so funny. It actually doesn't matter how long u are married to someone. If u feel like sharing your experience abt inter-marriage and expressing your opinions that we can benefit from, feel free to do so. Maybe u can also share with us your experiences with your partner before marriage. That would be good too! =)

J@n!ce said...

Nafa, I miss commenting here got some problem opening up your comment box. I'm glad to be back to leave a word. You guys can really write so well. This is a great post :)

Janice Ng

THE NAFASG TEAM said...

Hi Jan!

Yay! A comment from u. Thanks!

Glad u like the article. If any of your boys decide to get married to a non-Chinese, this should be a good read for u to educate them. =D