Jealousy: Know Your Limits

Our lives are constantly filled with an assortment of emotions. Without emotions, it would just be as good as living the life of a robot. Emotions are meant to be controlled by us. However, there are some of us here who let emotions overpower us instead.

Perhaps it is fine if positive emotions take control of us, but it would not be the same case if the negative emotions control us.

One of those negative emotions that we should always take note of and handle with care is none other than jealousy.

Jealousy in a relationship is supposedly a symbol of love for that special someone, showing how much you want to hold on to him or her for life. On the contrary, when your level of jealousy goes overboard, things may turn for the worse, not only for you, but also, for your partner.

Your partner will gradually perceive you as someone who could not give that 100% trust and faith in him or her, when apparently, love is all about trusting each other.

Jealousy towards someone who is far more superior to you in a certain aspect can actually get the better of you if you do not make the effort to control it. At times, whenever your frame of mind gets distorted, you would even feel tempted to take revenge of and scheme to bring this person down, even though he or she has never intentionally brought you down.

Jealousy can even occur amongst family members. As always, many children would turn sour towards their siblings because they sense that their siblings are receiving the better treatment and care from their parents, as compared to themselves. Still, you would not want to end up severing ties with your flesh and blood just because of it, right?

We have to face the fact that no one else can be blamed for igniting that jealousy in you because it is all within your inner self. You are actually not to be blamed either, but remember! In the case of jealousy, only YOU know yourself best and know how to deal with it.

In a relationship, you must be cognizant about the fact that only a certain level of jealousy within you is acceptable. Always affirm yourself that your partner will always love you and that there shall be no other party that will intervene. Should there really be a concrete proof that your partner is ‘stabbing you at the back’, do not be too swift in jumping to any sort of conclusion. Express your jealousy towards your partner and try to clarify the matter more calmly with him or her.

It may not be a piece of cake, but it would just aggravate the situation if you do not keep your cool in handling it.

Jealousy towards someone from afar can also be curbed if you strive to do it. Think about this! His or her strengths may be your weaknesses, but your strengths could be his or her weaknesses.

So concentrate on your strengths and upgrade them, rather than wondering too often about others’ strengths and sulking over it, or worse still, taking revenge on it.

As for jealousy among siblings, there is no harm for you to speak your mind to your parents. Do not be harsh when clarifying with them, but you can be firm about your point of view. As far as we know, excellent parents would never divide their attention towards the children unequally, and if you wish to talk to them about it, they would definitely hear you out.

You should also hear them out and give some thoughts about what they have to say. Sometimes, it may just turn out to be a trivial misunderstanding, which can be worked out.

In actual fact, jealousy is not a crime or a mistake, but rather, a part of human nature. Still, that does not give you the avenue to go over the top and affect those who are not responsible for your jealousy.

Do know your limits when expressing jealousy. Always believe that it can be solved in a mild manner, as long as you work hard for it.



-Nafa Danfad